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So during this past week I haven’t maintained my hair as well as I should. My hair is naturally curly, so hardcore tangles are inevitable. When I untangled it yesterday, I lost a lot. Thanks to my bad untangling skills and flatiron, I may have to cut my hair really short. Ever since I was little I wanted my hair long. And now for the past two years that it has been, I can’t let it go.
Gosh, I’m such a girl. But I’ve been looking at several haircut styles and came across one in particular that I love (above). I think I may cut my hair into layers to keep it at least to medium length, or cut it like the photo. I’m a little nervous.
It’s absolutely beautiful out. For over two weeks, NYC had been plagued with thunderstorms. As Alfredo put it: “it’s like Summer took a summer vacation.” It’s finally great to have real summer weather.
May go to the park soon. Wish I were at the beach though. May even go buy a snazzy sketch book tomorrow to start up fashion designing again . Hopefully I can purchase a dressform mannequin to create some of these ideas soon.
I’ve been working on making several pre-made layouts, templates, free use graphics, and tutorials. Once I have things relatively sorted out, I’ll start taking orders and gradually post these goodies.
Here is the summary:
I’m about to learn how to customize blogger and blogspot sites.
Tutorials on HTML/CSS, WordPress, and a few Photoshop tricks.
Free Use: wallpapers, icons, avatars, gif animations, and signature graphics.
Coding took longer than expected since I had some trouble with the menu. I’m particularly happy with this theme since it’s the most detailed work to date. I’ll be working on site content over the next several days since I have a few ideas to amuse you visitors.
As for life: there was some major family drama. But for the most part, it has mellowed out. Also, got an A on my Journalism paper. How awesome is that? I’m currently working on another paper. I need to finish it tonight, because I want my weekend like everyone else!
Once I recover from coding exhaustion, I’ll start taking orders and post pre-mades.
Anywho, I’m going to finish this paper and watch The Fast and The Furious … it’s on FX in case you were curious.
Edit: Wow … I’m really slow today. I just realized I didn’t name the layout in the site stats. Naming it Atwa since I listened to a whole lot of heavy metal (particularly System of a Down) while making this. =]
The thunder and lightning woke me up this morning. I’m actually glad since my sleeping pattern has been ridiculous. Oh, in good news, I’m finally getting health insurance. It’s been … what? … a year and a half! Wow, I’m a statistic
This Journalism course has been running smoothly until today. Apparently, I submitted my assignment to the professor, but not to Blackboard (the online thingamajig). Not awesome. It’s sorted out. Last week while I was typing my paper, I realized how terrible I’ve become with writing. Even during Acting, we had to maintain a journal, but I couldn’t hold the pen long enough to write a decent entry. Yet, I can type seventy words a minute for how many hours? Um, hello Carpal Tunnel Syndrome! My hand stamina isn’t the same. My brain stamina isn’t either. How sad! LOL I had Alfredo proof read my paper and I couldn’t help but laugh at how difficult it was for me to compose decent sentences. Not awesome.
P.S. Saw The Hangover Friday night. It’s the shiz.
Yay! Been added to the members list to the following:
Aaliyah, a fanlisting for the lovely (and surely missed) Aaliyah. She’s truly one in a million. I really miss her in the music scene. No other girl has come close to Aaliyah’s genuine, cool, and sexy attitude.
Dance Upon Me, for Britney Spears’ single I’m A Slave 4 U. I can never get tired of this song. I was hooked from the start. Also, her VMA performance of the song is one of her all-time greatest.
I Love You & I’m Not Afraid is the fanlisting for the Evanescence song My Last Breath. The song is off their debut album, Fallen. It’s one of my favorites.
What are sets, you ask? They are matching avatar and signature graphics commonly used in forums. I just started making some. So far I’ve uploaded two sets: Piece of Me featuring Britney Spears and Lose Control featuring Amy Lee. These can be found under the Free Use category, where all graphics are permitted to be used freely! Any requests, just send an e-mail.
Also, the portfolio has a new simple look. I’m in a green mood.
I have a major attitude problem — I’ll be the first to admit. But for the past several years, I kept that shit in check.
I have my off days. Sometimes I’m in a funk. What human doesn’t experience that? There are those moments while unaware that I do get a little pissy. It’s merely unintentional. Especially taking into account that if I wanted to give someone an attitude, I’d have no trouble at doing so. When I was little, my mom used to tell me, “You have such a bad attitude problem.” And I’d always think to myself, “No, I’ve got it all figured out.”
Tell me and I’ll straighten up.
As I’ve gotten older, I acknowledged how I affected others and felt terrible. I took into account of how awful I’d feel when someone would mistreat me. So why do that to others, right? I grew a better understanding of my “extreme” empathy (Gosh, I cry about everything. Even during musicals!). Knowing how unpleasant it feels to be mistreated has been a driving force to keep myself in line. Sometimes I wish others saw their bad habits. There’s no success in attacking another off of assumptions. One would only make themselves look foolish.
“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”
One can actually sabotage their relationship and/or friendships if not careful. I know my faults and seen first hand how brutal things can get. Either change happens or I’m gone.
Two nights ago, my father and I had a huge falling out. After so many years, everything that lingered and was unsaid spewed right out. I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. We haven’t spoken since. Seeing how destructive the long overdue animosity has been, I know more than ever that things have to be communicated and not avoided. Remaining so passive only allowed things to temporarily get better upon the surface, but troubles to grow worse beneath.
The whole situation placed many things in perspective, especially miscellaneous drama and grudges. Damn, I have a shit load of patience. I used to be the most impatient person. I’m surprised at how long I can hold my tongue. Still, keeping quiet didn’t benefit at times when I needed to speak up the most. I’m beginning to see what’s worth fusing over and what’s too petty to attend to. Family is most important. All the other fluff falls short. And to think, a few weeks ago I was frantic over something so silly.
P.S. SeekBritney.com will hopefully be opened this weekend. And my Journalism class is super easy and the Professor is super cool.
Just been added to Tell Me, a fanlisting for Paramore’s song Decode. The song was featured on the Twilight soundtrack late last year. Hayley has an amazing voice — can’t believe that voice comes out of such a tiny girl! This is definitely one of the few great things to come out from the Twilight Phenomenon besides Taylor Lautner.
Mood: Happy | Listening to nothing at the moment.
Posted by BlessedBeauty | Filed in: Joined
I’ve joined a few fanlistings and here are the ones I’ve been added to thus far:
Taken, the approved fanlisting for the 2008 film Taken staring Liam Neeson. My friends and I rented the movie on a whim and were quite surprised. The film is action packed and Liam is completely bad ass. I even watched it with my mom — she loves action films.
Between Breaths is the fanlisting for the recently released X-Men Origins: Wolverine. We were excited and saw the film opening night. I enjoyed the film even though there were several strange aspects, which leads me to Taylor Kitsch. Listen, the dude does a fantastic Southern accent in Friday Night Lights (TV), yet I don’t know what happened during his Gambit performance. I just wanted to make that clear. Besides, who’s paying attention to what he’s saying? Chinga chinga bowow.
Yes, I also joined Excellence, a fanlisting dedicated to Taylor Kitsch. I could have sworn I joined it long ago, but realize I didn’t. So I had to. He’s a fantastic actor and has a natural talent (yes, the accent … I know), but he’s great. C’mon! He’s done impressive work on the TV show adaptation of Friday Night Lights.
Lastly, but not least, I joined Haunting Me, which is devoted to the Evanescence song Haunted featured on their debut album Fallen. It’s one of my favorite songs on that album and never seems to get old.
A girlfriend posted about Destiny Cards and as of late, I’ve been interested in astrology and numerology for amusement. You’d be surprised at the occasional accuracy.
I gave the site a look, and here’s what it states about my birthdate …
The Four of Spades Person The Card of Security and Satisfaction
The Four of Spades is the card of satisfaction and protection through hard work. They have one of the most fortunate life paths in terms of money and success and usually enjoy the work they do. Their Saturn card, the Ace of Diamonds, tells us that even though they are fortunate, they usually worry about money anyway, and this can interfere with their own success if not checked. The Ten of Hearts in Mercury usually gets them instant acceptance at social occasions and they make good communicators or speakers. Fours can be very stubborn and the four of Spades has the right to be, with the Ten of Clubs Karma Card. They know a lot and must live by their truth. The Ten of Diamonds in Venus gives them wealthy friends but they should not place too much emphasis on money with their choice of friends. They usually have a good constitution and health is best cared for by natural methods. They are a worker card and it is in their work that they find true peace and satisfaction. Often they will align themselves with a humanitarian mission and find great satisfaction there.
Your Karma Cards are the:
Ten of Clubs – You owe something to this person and they reflect you in some way.
Four of Hearts – This person owes you and you are their mirror in some way.
Spoke to Jaddy tonight. She saw me online on Facebook and asked if she could call. I had to turn on my phone. How pathetic is that? I’ve had it off for the majority of this past week. She wanted some advice and just to talk. Eventually the conversation shifted from her to me. I explained what’s been going on lately. It was so hard not to cry. I just let her speak. I didn’t want her to hear me. I didn’t want her to worry any more than she already has. I felt if she noticed, it would have been selfish of me — like I’m bringing down her mood with my burdens. Everyone knows how stressed I am, but I only let it out when I’m alone. I rant, complain, and fuss. But I don’t like people seeing me cry.
When I got off the phone, my mom was in my room watching Jay Leno — she loves that show. My father has a new job, which means a new bedtime. So, she has to watch Jay’s monologue in my room. I sat in the bathroom for some privacy and cried. I continued my Spring Cleaning to relieve the stress. It actually helped. The fact of not knowing where things are going and feeling so foolish and naive just brings me to tears. If I knew five years ago what I know now, I wouldn’t have made certain choices. That’s so sad. To regret friendships. To regret an entire relationship. You hear common cliches: You live and you learn. Can’t dwell on the past. You have to focus on now. Yeah, I get it. But shit, I wish I were smarter back then. I wonder how different things would have been these past few years. Save myself from heartache. Save my friends and family from headaches. Maybe I wouldn’t be so far behind from where I could be right now.
I’m grateful for the people in my life now; the great experiences and opportunities I’ve had. Still, there are times it bothers me. I was pretty naive and gullible. And that got me into this mess. It’s not your fault. Well, partially, yes. I should have known better than to take an offer, to believe someone’s promise, to make such a drastic decision without truly thinking things through.
I sit here with debt, no health insurance (cause with my luck, I end up in the hospital on my damn birthday), a college degree so far from reach, unemployed, and someone extorting money from me based on a sudden grudge. I’m still in shock. “Do the right thing.” Bullocks. Talking down to me like I’m some servant isn’t doing the right thing. Legal threats isn’t doing the right thing. 1AM, 3AM calls — not the right thing. I’m a human being for goodness sakes, speak to me like one. I turned off my phone. Shit, why should I have to deal with such arrogance? I didn’t do a damn thing to them, that’s what gets me. This all came out of no where. Tried being friends a few months back. Didn’t work. Parted ways. All these years and not a word until now? And to think, just weeks ago they were kind to me. It was a fake “happy birthday” gester, but hey, they were civil. How can a person push you so far to the point of hatred? I actually hate this person.
I’ve realized why I’ve wanted to get out of NYC so badly. It’s not the city. It’s not the weather. It’s this person. I want them so far away from me that they’ll become a distant memory. Maybe someday I’ll forget them; completely remove the bad and even the good. Be so out of reach they can’t call me, message me, or even see me around. Not have to worry if they’ll come around randomly about God knows what else. I want them to forget me. That’s so dramatic, but dammit, I’d feel better.
It’s 4:30am and I’m exhausted in so many ways. I made this simple layout yesterday to get things in motion for the next template.
Catch Up:
This semester was fantastic. Although I had several anxiety attacks because of Acting, I managed to get through it. I should get my last grade within the next few days. So far so awesome. My professor encouraged me to pursue acting as a profession or hobby. She’s going to help me with a photographer to set up a session for headshots and start auditioning in the City. Guess NYC isn’t useless after all.
Drama in my life has been running low until last week. Sometimes I wonder, do people of my past receive text message alerts? “No drama in her life. Mission: Fuck It All Up is a go!” No matter how amicable the split or civil you treat a person during encounters, sometimes they manage to slip back into your life unwelcomed and/or seek vengeance on you. I can’t wait ’til it’s over.
Mommy wants a cat. I haven’t had a pet for about two years. She came into my room last night asking about animal shelters and told me that my father mentioned getting a cat since they’re simple creatures. I’ll look up shelters tomorrow. I wonder what I’ll name him … cause I can’t stand females — that’s another entry.
Yay! Despite my laptop being completely crummy, I’m attempting to revamp the entire domain. So, things will be a little funny for a few days. I’m in the process of coding and such, so all URLs will re-direct here in the meantime.
So I’m sitting here watching the end of Braveheart … cause you know, TNT knew it was my birthday and decided to spoil me with all things Mel Gibson.
The universe works with me once again.
Though I couldn’t go out and celebrate, I’m not too upset. I can always do something next Saturday in the city. Sometimes I wonder perhaps things were meant to be this way. I’m a little bummed but whatever. I basically got a week vacation. Nothing wrong with dat!
My mom wants me to check out Best Buys (because she never says it right) for a new laptop. This thing is practically dead, so I won’t be able to do any site work for a while — maybe weeks. Booooo. Something to look forward to anyway!
P.S. That date … he’s strange. He sends me all these text messages of forwarded chain letters and it’s friggin’ annoying. No, “Hey, how are you”. No, “What’s up”. Of course not, that would be too sweet and considerate. Instead, let’s message this girl to Text Message Hell with nonsense about fried chicken and kool-aid … I’m not even exaggerating.
Hella Cool | Listening to 
Chipper | Listening to 
LOL and 
Silly | Listening to 
Bored | Listening to 
Happy | Listening to 
Sad | Listening to 
Whatever | Listening to 